"For only as we ourselves, as adults, actually move and have our being in the state of love, can we be appropriate models and guides for our children. What we are teaches the child far more than what we say, so we must be what we want our children to become."

- Joseph Chilton Pearce, from Teaching Children to Love, introduction.

sex'-u-al ab'-sti-nence -  preserving sexual intimacy (anything beyond a simple kiss), and the powerful emotional bond it creates for the commitment of marriage. Is it important to you that your child(ren) remain sexually abstinent until marriage? Did you know that in a national survey, teens ranked parents as the BIGGEST INFLUENCE in their decisions about sex??  Do you want to talk to your kids about sex, but feel "nervous," "awkward," "unprepared"...?  We want to help! "BEST FOR YOU" is what we parents want for our children.  If you can remember those three words, and do what each letter stands for, you'll be helping your child achieve sexual abstinence until marriage.

e the parent.
*Unconditionally love your kids. Make it clear to them that no matter what they do, you will always love them.
*Set and enforce boundaries (e.g. dating guidelines, curfews, "house rules," etc.)
*Know what they are being taught in the classroom (and in the halls!) about sex. Get involved in your childs education.

xplain and model your values.
*If you don't offer reasons for your rules, rebellion often results.
*Teach them the purpose of sex - as an expression of love between a man and woman who have made a life-time commitment to one another. It is a gift that should be respected and waited for, not exploited or abused.
*Walk your talk. Do you want honesty from your kids? Model it! It's OK to admit you don't have all the answers, or even that it's difficult for you to talk to them about sex. Do you want your kids to be sexually abstinent outside of marriage? Model it!

et the standard.
*Set a mutual goal (between you and your teen/s) of saving sex until marriage, show confidence that they can do it, and tell them what you will do to help.
*Encourage them to make a formal commitment to themselves, their future spouse, and you for abstinence.

each them about the consequences of extramarital sex.
*Physical - Pregnancy, STD's.   See (Real Freedom)
*Emotional - Teens who have had sex often report feeling "used, dirty, taken  advantage of, lonely, sad, hurt, embarrassed, brokenhearted, regretful,  disappointed, shameful, anxious. . ." Teen sex can provide a false sense of  intimacy, and changes the relationship (usually for the worse).

give.
We all make mistakes, especially as we're growing up. Forgive your kids when they "mess up." If your child is:
a) already sexually active;
b) a teen parent or parent-to- be; 
c) infected with an STD; and/or
d) you name it
Talk about secondary virginity as a way of starting over!!

outh... Remember it?
The many physical and emotional changes of adolescence can make it a tough time between childhood and adulthood. Although they sometimes feel they have all the answers, we know they are not mature enough to always make responsible decisions. We need to guide and protect them, as well as allow them to enjoy this time of their lives.

pen communication.
*Allow all topics to be open for discussion in your family.
*Talk to your kids early (in life) and often about sex.
*Use teachable moments (a TV show, a pregnant couple at school, a news story,  etc.) to talk about sex.
*Teach them how to deal with sexual temptation before it happens.

nite!
Our modern society places incredible pressure on our kids to have sex. By partnering with your school, church, youth group, teachers, physicians and other parents in supporting abstinence, we increase the likelihood of their success.

Because we care...