"Life is the first gift, love is the second, and understanding the third."

- Marge Piercy

It’s not easy to go to your parents with the news that you are pregnant. You are probably concerned about the way they will react-and can imagine only the worst. The news that you are pregnant will probably hurt at first-but you and they will survive. It’s often hard to see just how much parents really love their children and want to be there to support them during the hard times, until you are in a hard time

Some parents have a harder time expressing their love. If that describes your parents you may need to turn to other family and friends for emotional support. Sometimes a crisis is what draws a family together. Hopefully your news that you are pregnant will give your parents a chance to show how much they love you and want the best for you.

Usually it’s better to tell them right away instead of putting it off. More than likely they will hear the news, and they would rather hear the news from you!

No one knows your parents as well as you do. Choose a time when they are likely to be more relaxed and easier to talk to. Sometimes it is better if you are not present when they hear the news. It is difficult to think when you are nervous, but now is the best time to develop you plan.

Some times young women are concerned they might be pushed into an abortion they do not want by their parents. It is important to understand what their parents are thinking in this case. Are they concerned they might be asked to raise your child? Are they concerned you are too young to raise a child? Are they concerned what friends or family might think? It will be important for you to have a plan of action and for your parents to see that you have thought seriously about your situation.

Some women find it more effective to write their parents a note. Some communicate best over the phone. Whatever method you choose, remember to give your parents plenty of time to work through their emotions. Your parents might react with strong emotion at first, but when some time has passed, you will find them much more ready to discuss your plan with you.

It is important for you to communicate your love for your parents as well as acknowledge that you have possibly hurt or disappointed them. This may be a very hard thing for you to do, but now is the time to be strong, act wisely, and do the right thing. The counselors at the pregnancy help center can help you prepare to share your news with your family members.

Adapted from:"Don’t Panic How to Tell Your Parents you’re Pregnant". The publisher is: Life Cycle Books, Fort Collins, CO

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